I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
