There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off