I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.