She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
