you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?