so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.