I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
