i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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