I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
