last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize