I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
