Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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