I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
