Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
