You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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