i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
