youre lurking in front of me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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