Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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