Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
