Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
