dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
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Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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