It's like a parade of train wrecks.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
