Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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