a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My vagina is officially offended.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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