I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We are two peas in an std pod
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
