hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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