It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
