Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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