Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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