youre lurking in front of me
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
