did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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