Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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