he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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