i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
