would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
