I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
