thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
