She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
