I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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