I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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