2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
