How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
vagina is talking i cant
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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