Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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