pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
