god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
