Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize