that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
