THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
