apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the day after is always just damage control
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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