Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
