My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
