i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
