let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I understand Curling. That high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
