I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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