Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
