I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
