like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
