DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize