I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
