Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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