if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
