He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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