people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
