I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
