I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
smell my finger.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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