If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so let's talk penis.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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