this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
