hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
