ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize