I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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