I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
